Right, so I was called to do this. Right? (Please God, this is day 1 – I need to hear You say that I was called to do this.)
My father is amazing. He is solid. He affirms me. He is an awesome dad. He is also a farmer…so when he says that he wants to leave at 4h30 in the morning, I know that he means it and that he has a certain ETA at our designated destination. Bloemfontein in this case…
After numerous Geography lessons today and driving through Beaufort West at 9:15 (because we actually left Wellington at 4h30), hearing about Sylvester (the lion that escaped from the Nature Reserve) and thinking that we will be in Bloem WAY before our ETA, I am back in the good ol’ town of Beaufort West tonight. Little Car. You know? Top gasket. Blown.
We waited for four hours. Yes. Four. For a tow truck to come. Now Little Car’s engine is lying in shambles on a (dodgy) mechanic’s workshop floor…and to be quite honest with you, I am kind of lying in shambles too.
The last week has been the craziest roller coaster of my life. I had to say goodbye to everyone I love, had to uproot and leave the place that I have called “home” for nearly 17 years. I was prayed over, sent and sent again. I was strong. Until today.
I’m not okay. Gosh, having to leave everything you hold dear is hectic and then Little Cars break and you break a little too.
To top it all, the only people you want to talk to in these moments, are unavailable. Busy. Busy. Buzz….y.
But hey…then a Spice Girls-golden oldie resounds in your head and all I can do, is “turn to You.”
God, I turn to You. Because no-one can bring peace like You. I don’t have to feel like I’m a nuisance when I consult You. I can vent. I can be real. I don’t have to pretend or fake a smile. I don’t have to think and rethink whether I can send you a message or not. I can just debrief. Bliss.
I am thankful: While driving in the back of the tow-truck (that took four hours to come…), we passed two huge accidents. That could’ve been us.
I am thankful: Although I am not sleeping in Bloemfontein tonight, I have a warm bed to climb into and a snoring dad in the next room.
I am thankful: I have people to call. Even if they are too busy to really talk. At least I have them.
I am thankful: Tomorrow is only a day away. Durban too…
Eventually I will get there. Because I am called. Not driven.
LIVing the journey.