I heard Dan walking up the stairs while I tried to calm myself down. It was about 21:00 on Monday evening, the 23rd of March 2020, and midnight would mark the start of a national lockdown. This was just announced. The decision was made for us. We could not get married. A part of me was relieved because we didn’t have to deal with all the “will it works” and “shall we do its” anymore. I was lying on the couch, numb. I could vaguely hear Dan on the phone to someone but thought he was probably talking to his parents because the lockdown had many other implications – our Plan B wedding wasn’t the only thing that was impacted. I’m not sure how long he was away but when he came downstairs he looked very serious, and then he said: “Do you want to get married tonight?” (Afterwards I found out he was talking to Tim, his older brother who lives in Belfast, and “ouboet” advised to get on with it there and then!)
It was the ideal solution, really. Our dilemma was a moral one, as we did not want to live together before getting married, but we didn’t want to go into a lockdown without knowing when we would be allowed to see each other again. So I replied: “Yes! Let’s do it! Let’s get married tonight!”
Rewind 5 months…
I look at myself in the mirror, straighten out my dress, take a selfie which I send to my closest friends and walk out of my parent’s guest bedroom. In the living room Dan is sitting, looking very handsome. My mom and dad are both there, dressed nicely. Also present, is my church’s pastor, Rick. Being the absolutely joy of a person he is, he is wearing a Springbok jersey because a few hours earlier we were all cheering on our Bokke in the World Cup Semi Finals against Wales.
Rick comes and sits next to Dan and me, looking us straight in the eye when he shares a beautiful word of encouragement and prays for us. He explains to us that what we are about to do, is something God rejoices over and then he takes out the paperwork and we all sign on the lines…
See, a very important part of this story and a testimony of God’s faithfulness, is that Dan and I legally got married in October 2019 – three months after he proposed. At that time we had to decide whether we wanted to get the legalities sorted so that I could apply for my spouse visa, or whether we were willing to be separated for about three months after getting married while I would be waiting for my visa to be processed. Without a marriage certificate, I obviously couldn’t apply for a spouse visa.
However, for us the most important part of a wedding, is the vows we make before God, and having our family and friends there as witnesses. We both spent time in prayer (separately and together) about it and we believed it was wise to go ahead. We opted, however, not to say our vows at that occasion and we carried on as if nothing happened but I had the document I needed to apply for my visa, which I received in January 2020.
Fast forward 5 months
Dan started scurrying around. While he got on the phone to the school’s chaplain, I rushed upstairs to attempt looking like a bride. Rummaging through suitcases to find a dress, I discovered the the one I wore on that special day in October 2019. “This’ll do,” I thought to myself but believe me when I say, that dress hadn’t seen an iron for months. I also couldn’t find my hair straightener so I had to make due with the natural locks the Good Lord gave me. I put on some make up and off we went…to the school’s chapel…to get married.
Arriving at the chapel, we were greeted with the flash of a camera. Katie, our friend and Dan’s colleague, effortlessly and very kindly stepped into the role of photographer. Dan managed to invite about 16 people in the short amount of time I spent to get ready, and they all agreed to come to our impromptu wedding! Before I entered the chapel, I was given a lovely bouquet of stargazer lilies, carefully tied up with a silver ribbon by Lily (the wife of Dan’s cycling mate, Alex.) Before I even knew what was happening, Dan and I walked down the aisle to beautiful organ music, played by the school’s Director of Music, and organised by Lara, another colleague and friend. I caught a glimpse of our guests, sparsely scattered around the little chapel’s pews, all dressed up to the nines as if they all had outfits ready to go – a mate of ours, Ben, even wore his own wedding tails! At that point I was a mere acquaintance to most of these people, but as I was walking down that aisle I knew they would all become significant to me in the future. “This is our new community,” I thought. And boy, did they show up when we needed them!
The school’s chaplain, Rev. Richard Horner, started the ceremony by explaining to the guests that we were, in fact, already married. Why is this so significant? Two reasons. Firstly, because had we not signed those documents (which we were really reluctant to sign) in October 2019, Richard would not have been able to marry us legally. By law you cannot get married in the UK if you’ve been living in the UK for less than six months.
Secondly, I would not have had a visa. I would not have been allowed into the UK, and Dan and I would have had to spend the entire duration of the pandemic apart.
But…because we were led by The Holy Spirit and trusted God in the decision, however hard it was for us, we could say our vows in front and 16 witnesses, and we could start our life together.
I don’t recall any of the physical details. I can’t remember uttering my vows or singing “How great thou art.” But what I felt is etched into my memory – like a beacon of hope, a lighthouse that guides me and compels me forward when it gets hard to be in the UK. I felt peace. Standing next to Dan, knowing that we were in all of this together, assured that I would have a companion through all the valleys and all the mountain tops life will bring, and realising that God knew exactly what was coming so He made a way for us to be together, brought the kind of peace the Bible talks about – “it surpasses all understanding.” In that moment, I felt closer to my Saviour than ever before, and I knew He was “well pleased” with our union.
After the ceremony, we stepped into the tiny courtyard outside the chapel and was met with confetti and cheers. I was so touched to see how everyone was genuinely happy – probably because it brought a bit of excitement and joy on an otherwise very gloomy day! Dan said a few words and then we had our first dance to Maggie Rogers’ “Love you for a long time.” It was a bit of a fail, as we thought we had a few more weeks left to practice but we owned the moment and enjoyed it. Nothing had gone according to our plan, but God’s plan was unfolding beautifully and we loved it.
Those who weren’t there…
Dan’s family managed to “attend” the wedding by means of a WhatsApp video call. Due to the two hour time difference, my family were all sound asleep in the Southern Hemisphere when I vowed to love and stay true to Dan until death do us part. They woke up the next morning to a few missed calls, a message that reads “We’re getting married now!” and a few pictures with the caption “Surprise!!!”
Mr and Mrs Shaw
An hour after we decided to get married there and then, Dan and I walked into our home.
Married. Exhausted. Delighted.
And locked down.
elanahugo 
Lana Lana, ek lees LEKKER!!!*
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